Lucy in the Sky with Damon...

Acid. What a crazy drug this is. It's been around longer than I have, even longer than my parents. It's been written about in books for decades and even pops up in movies now and then. The beat generation dabbled in it, as well as dead heads, yuppies, perverts, kids, and basically any human who walks the earth. Even to this day the youth of today is discovering it for the first time, except now it is probably reaching the level of passe and considered "old school." There is plenty of nastier shit out there these days to fuck people up and for good! Schools taught you that it could make you kill your family, jump off buildings with delusions that you could fly, make you think you were a big orange and couldn't move. If you took it more than 4 times you were considered legally insane! Maybe it did these things for some, but not this little tiger...well,kind of. Whatever.

My first experiment with this mind altering wonder took place at a friends party when I was 17, still in high school and living at home. The cats name was Brian and his parents lived in the black hill mountains of south Dakota with a young boy named Rocky Racoooon-ah! Just kidding. He lived up in the hills of Upland though. Upland as I might have mentioned before was pretty durn close to Mt. Baldy. The posh houses were right up in hills on your way to Baldy. Brian's house was HUGE and his back yard was just as spacious. What made it even better to hang out at night was the huge fire-pit in the back patio. I can remember drinking many-o beer by the circle of fire that lit all our young faces orange late into the night. Another example of how huge the back yard was is that he had peacocks running around it? Really, who has peacocks just running around their yards?

At one party at Brian's house Jason and I showed up kind of late and the fun had already started. There were tons of people walking around, in and out of his house, circling the fire-pit and such. People I knew greeted us and those we didn't still gave a chipper "Hey" and a head nod. We grab our plastic cups and head towards the keg to catch up. After a bit I hear one of these damn peacock, but I don't see it? I start operation FIND THAT DAMN BIRD, by myself, and start to walk around the back yard. The bird is making a noise so loud it almost sounds like a person yelling. I'm just about to give up my search when I turn around and see this little dirt head guy walking towards me.

I didn't know this guy, but he was small and looked like he couldn't decide if he wanted to be a hippie or not? "Hey man, what's up?"
"Hey"
"What's up, my name is -----?" (shit, it was a long time ago? How am I supposed to remember?)
"Hey, I'm Damon" Insert hand shake here
"What're you doing?" he even looks a bit puzzled. Now I'm just bout to tell him, but think better of it. I'm sure "trying to find that damn peacock" might have made plenty of sense to the little burn-out, but why test it. "Nothing" is all I had for him.
"Hey man, I got some acid if you want to score some?"
"Oh...uh...really?" Now I had never taken acid before, plus we all know the story of the girl who took it, tripped out hard, ran around like a maniac and mistook the cops for gorilla's as they started to chase her. I pondered this all for a second as I rubbed my chin with my head cocked and looked to the sky for no reason. "Sure, how much?"

After my purchase I was so excited I ran up to Jason and showed it to him, looking like a kid who just caught a lady bug and was showing it to his parents. "Whaaat?! Are you going to take it?" "YEAH!", I exclaim, "What do you think?!" I then popped the little speck of square paper into my mouth and waited for the magic to come.

I continued to drink some beers and every once in a while I would wave my hand in front of my face. Nothing. I was starting to feel a little bummed and ripped off...of a whole whopping $5! I finally stand up to walk into the house to squirt the squirrel. As I'm walking I feel a little bit of butterflies in my stomach and realize I'm smirking for no reason. I get to the bathroom, take care of business and head back outside. All while smirking. I get caught up noticing things in the house and start to walk into the living room. I casually look around like I'm a fucking property inspector and notice this HOT chick lying on her stomach with her shirt off in front of the fire place. There is a guy sitting on her ass and rubbing her shoulders. It was a very surreal thing to see when your caught off guard...and tripping the light fantastic! I suddenly apologize and turn on my heels when they yell for me to come back. "Hey guy, it's cool" the guy tells me while his lady friend just smiles at me while resting her head on her folded arms. I don't know why that seemed to make me feel at ease, but it did so I just walked in and sat in a wing back chair off to the side.

I don't recall what their names were but instantly they started shooting the breeze with me. Turned out it was Brian's older brother and some floozie he was seeing. Now being the youngster I was I would have thought any chick with her top off was beautiful, but this girl actually was. Ravishing if you will. We start talking about the party and how I knew his brother, the usual b.s., yet the girl never really utters an effing word? She just lied there looking at me, not in a disturbing way but in a way that seemed like she was neither interested, nor uninterested in talking to me. During some of the conversation Brian's brother would grab a bottle of lotion, squirt it into his hand and proceed to rub it into the little Lolita's shoulders. Again, I don't know why I put myself in this situation, but there I was. Oh wait! That's right, the LSD might have been the reason! Oopsie.

The conversation kind of winds down and I just sit in the chair feeling like I was really small and the chair was really huge. I then starting thinking about how I probably looked like a toddler who was set in the chair for time-out because I was acting up.
"Damon...DAMON!"
"Huh?" I reply, snapping out of my drug induced day dream.
"I said I really have to take a piss and was wondering if you could take over for me?"
"Um...take over what?", surely he couldn't be talking about what I thought he was talking about?
"C'mon man. Could you just take over giving her a back rub for me? I have to take a leak and my hands are tired..."
Now all of the sudden the girl was STARING at me with a hint of amusement and non chalance. The only thing that would process in my mind at first was "FUCK THIS ACID IS FUCKING WITH ME! This is not happening!" I look at the brother and say, "are you serious? You want me to sit on your girl and rub her back for you?"
"Yeah, it's cool, I trust you"
"I don't even know you OR HER!"
"You going to do it or not? I really have to piss?" Now the girl is giving me a flustered look that says "c'mon guy! make up your mind!" and I stand up. I pretty much did a really slow version of the Purina Cat Chow (chow chow chow) not really sure if I should stay or run out? I go for the latter and say "I'll be right back" as I scamper out of the room and house.

Not really sure what the fuck is going on I sit at the fire pit by everyone. All guys. "Where the hell have you been?" Jason asks me. "Yeah. Well, uh...I've been sitting in the house talking to Brian's brother and some hot chick who's topless"
Everyone seems caught of guard by this and immediately hammers me with questions. "What? Are you serious" "is she really hot" "what the fuck are you doing out here then?!" "Your a fucking liar" and any other questions or statements young dip shit guys ask when boobies come into a conversation. There is one kid especially who has millions of question, and he asks them all with a panting perverted fervor that makes me sick. I hated this fucker already and him knowing this chunk of knowledge made me hate him more.

A little about this guy. His name is Matt Wenger and unbeknownst to him we all secretly called him "Baby Huey" or "Cuddles." The reason he was labled these names is because he was over 6ft tall, covered with freckles, had obnoxious red hair, chubby with a droopy belly and a round cherub face. If he met a girl, he would lay it down so thick 90% of the girls were repulsed by him, yet he would be so smothering and never take the hint, thus making him even more disturbing. Even if she was your girlfriend he was still pursuant. If he couldn't score with the girl he would settle for being their sensitive guy friend who they could talk to with any problem they had. Years later he would still be creepy and live with one of his friends...and the friends wife!

Cuddles wants to get down to the bottom of my story and tells everyone they should go inside and see what's doing! When I see Big Red get that horny puppy look in his eyes while the glow of the fire-pit dances on his freckled face I knew he didn't care if everyone went with him or not, he was going in. Jason, Cuddles, myself and a few others decide to go in. I lead the way to the living room hoping the couple was just fooling with me, had a good laugh when I left and took off somewhere. Nope, they were still there, as if they were waiting for my return. Now I felt like a big drugged up asshole for coming back with an entourage. Once everyone piled into the room they just stood around in an uncomfortable silence. I sat back in my chair and just look at all the drooling gentlemen absorbing the situation. Especially cuddles.

Brian's brother makes some small talk, but in that uninterested "I don't have time for you kids" manner. It seems like the fellas realize this is going nowhere and are about to leave disappointed when cuddles chimes in with "HEY! You look kind of tuckered out, if you want I could take over for you!" WHAT?! You fat fucking retard! What are you doing?! I think to myself and throw him the stink eye.
"No guy, I don't think so"
"Oh, you sure?", but he didn't need a reply. He knew it was a stupid question. He looks down into his plastic cup with a sad clown face, turns and walks out of the room.

Now I feel guilty and try to give some lame excuse for bringing those fucker in with me. "Hey, sorry about that? I just went out for some fresh air and they followed me in. Especially that fat fucker. I hate him you know"
"Don't sweat it. Sooo, you wa..."
"Cool, I just...I'm sorry what?"
"You going to take over or what?"
"Oh no, I can't" after this statement the little harlot chimes in with her 2 cents.
"Why not? I don't mind. Are you gay or something?" she asks
"NOOO! I'm not gay! It's just, kind of weird?"
Now she is smiling at me, but in a perverted, yet sweet way.
"Are you scared? You don't have to sit on top of me if you don't want. You can sit to the side, c'mon..."
"Uh... Trust me, I would LOVE to and I think your hot and all...it's just" Now I wasn't lying, I really wanted to cave in and rub her like I was washing a car, but the acid was kicking in harder now and the situation was already bizarre.
"Damon. Just do it, he doesn't mind..."
"Yeah, I'm getting tired", Brian's brother reminds me
"He's getting tired and I still want my back rubbed"
"Ha!..naw, I can't" At this point I'm shaking my head like that retarded vulture in those looney tune cartoons.
"Thanks anyway, I think I'm going to go back outside" I get out of the chair to leave and this girl is really seducing me with her gaze so I quickly look down at my shoes, wave bye-bye and walk out while meekly saying "it was nice meeting you".

By the time I get to the kitchen I feel like a total loser. Here was this hot, beautiful WOMAN! Not girl, but WOMAN, begging me to rub her down. She wasn't telling me to go for a poke in the woods or anything, just a nice lotion enhanced rub down...and I run out like a little girl. This was ludicrous! WHAT AM I THINKING! I close my eyes and build up the courage and nerve to go back and accept their offer. With a hearty amount of false bravado I walk into the room and I'm about to blurt out "Alright you crazy kids! You got me! I'll do it!" but there was no one there? I turn around like a kid lost in the mall and see no sign of them. Where'd they go? Damn, this acid is some good shit! Maybe I imagined the whole thing. I start to snicker to myself and walk back out.

Like a pack of wild dogs waiting for me to throw some meat scraps my buddies are waiting for me to speak. I don't say anything, I just sit and watch the dancing of the fire in the pit. Fed up with my silence they bombard me with more questions. In typical Jason form his first question is "did she suck your dick?" This is Jason's favorite question and I would find out many years later that he will ask that question before anything else. Even now, regardless of the fact that he is married, a father and a teacher, he will still ask me this no matter what. "Jason, I got into a fiery crash and hit some lady with my car" "Really?! Did she suck your dick? Are you alright?" "Man Jason, I just broke up with my girlfriend and she was pretty upset with me" "Did she suck your dick? What did she say?" His wife even knows this is his M.O. yet it never bothers him. Anywayoffbase, I tell them I was propositioned again when everyone walked out and like before I scurried off like a shameful critter. I get the usual berating chimes of "AWWW" and "WHAAT?!" followed up with a couple of "what a fag" and "total idiot's" sprinkled in for good measure.

Shamed and still ready to peak on my acid, Jason and I head home. I casually cruise into my house and I can feel the shame being taken over by the euphoria of LSD. No one is awake and I quickly head to my room and shut the door. Now I'm consumed with giggles as I recount the events of the evening and keep walking in circles with boths hands on my head chanting "oh my god!" Once I had a little quiet time it seemed the acid was taking a whole new stage and I was willingly let it take me over. Immediately I get my Beatles White Album out and set it to play Revolution #9 on continuous repeat. I had read somewhere that Revolution #9 was THE song to play while tripping so I had to hear it. Turns out it's true! I don't know how many times I sat there listening to every word of that pointless song and laughing silently and hysterically to myself. Sometimes I would be caught up in laughter then I would just stop abruptly because I would here a voice or sound I'd never heard before. The acid was working full steam ahead and I loved every second of it. I got the idea to draw a picture and drew this picture of John Lennon from some Sergeant Pepper poster I had on my wall. When that was finished I got the idea to take the black marker and draw little doodles on my hand. I don't really recall everything else I did but I was up for a while before I finally got to sleep in the early a.m.

The worst part about that night was I had to work the next day so I had to wake up early. I worked in a ladies shoe store in the mall (during the hey day of Married with Children of course. So please, save the Al Bundy jokes, I've heard them all) and it required me to wear a shirt and tie as well as looking nicely groomed. I had even cut my long hair to work there! My alarm clock goes off and I swore I had just shut my peepers for only a second! Feeling a little disoriented I slide out of bed and shuffle off to the bathroom to take a shower. Grinning to myself on the walk to the bathroom I reflect on the random night I had just had. Once in the bathroom I reach into the shower to turn on the water and realize I had lines and squiggles all over my arm. I laughed a bit at the stupidity of it and start to undress. Facing the bathroom mirror I peel off my t-shirt and casually look at my reflection. WHAT-THE-FUCK!!? As I dropped my shirt in shock I stare at my reflection in disbelief! All over my upper body I was covered with drawings done with a black marker! The only parts that didn't have any sign of doodling were my hands and from my neck up. Other than those parts, I pretty much looked like I was in the Yakuza and all my tattoo's were done by an artist with down syndrome. I quickly look into my boxers but luckily I didn't touch anything below the waist. As quick as can be I jump in the shower, grabbing the scrubber and soap. I lather it up nice and thick and start scrubbing away. The warm water feels good and I'm just scrubbing away at my arms, chest and parts of my back (how I drew on my back is beyond me) just covering myself with thick foamy lather. Stepping under the shower head to rinse off I feel my stomach drop. It wasn't coming off?! I scrub, lather up and rinse again...HOLY SHIT! IT WASN'T COMING OFF! I try a third time and the bold black lines are barely fading! What the hell was I going to do? I had to be at work in an hour! I had to see my parents! I was fucked!

Luckily my room was right across the hall from the bathroom and I was able to bolt across the hall right into my room, all without being seen. Caught up in frantic thought I tried to come up with a solution. During this brainstorm I notice the black marker on the floor next to this really abstract looking picture of John Lennon (which was actually REALLY good I must say). Damn. In large letters across the bulky pen are written the words MARKS-A-LOT with "permanent marker" written right underneath. Fuck, they weren't kidding? I decide that I would just have to dress up and walk around the house that way. I pulled the biggest longsleeve shirt I had out of my closet and proceed to get dressed. Like a dream the baggy shirt hung so loose that it made the cuffs on my sleeve drag down to my thumb joints. I could reach up and out without making my art work visible.

I was able to leave the house no questions asked and the work day flowed just as easy too. When I got home that night I grabbed a bottle of alcohol and a wash clothe and began the cleaning process. I managed to get my arms pretty clean, but the best I could mange with the rest of my torso was a light gray shade of markings. It took about a couple of days to finally be rid of all that marker magic, but the memories of that night would last forever.

I took plenty more LSD in those following years and always had a great time. Jason surprisingly was always the Chewbacca to my Han Solo during most of these "trips" and we had many adventures along the way. We even had Disney passes for a couple of years so we could storm the Magic Kingdom while tripping out. Together we never had any bad trips or got into any trouble. We were pretty mellow kids so it's a given. I don't think it's for everyone, shit, I KNOW IT'S NOT because I've seen some folks wig out, but it was always good to me. I never met any gorilla cops or thought I could fly and eventually I grew out of the stage where LSD was fun anymore. In my mid 20's I would dabble on rare occasions but it was few and far between. Every once in a while I wonder how it would be if I were to take some hits of LSD, but that's not who I am any more and it no longer interests me. Now I'm 30 and getting older and there are more important, responsible things going on in my life. Those days are far behind me.

... or are they! Whoo whoo hahaha!

DJB